Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thankful

Some things I am thankful for on this Thanksgiving eve:

-Thankful for you all, my brothers and sisters in Christ, who may or may not struggle with the same things I do but all know what it is like to struggle against sin.

-Thankful to God for doing so much in my life since Thanksgiving of last year! I never would have imagined then that I would have a blog where I talk about my struggles with SSA and my life. Or that I would tell my brother of my struggles and that he would respond with love and compassion.

-Thankful for the support and prayers I have received from you all. Some of you have really changed my life with your encouragement, friendship, and advice and I thank you so much and it means more to me than you will ever know.

-Thankful for having a great family that loves me and showed me Gods love for me from a young age.

-I am thankful for finally realizing over the last months that I am not some sort of different class of sinner for having this struggle but just a sinner like anyone else who struggles and needs a savior.

-I am thankful that my shame has lessened so much since actually talking about my struggles instead of keeping it all inside like I used to.

-Thankful that God loves me more than I could ever know and wants what is best for me even if its painful for me in the short term.

-Thankful I am finally starting to get out more from time to time and hang out with other Christians. Sure I am still as awkward and shy as ever but hopefully friendships will form at some point if I keep trying and trusting God and refrain from judging or looking down on myself when things don't happen as quickly as I wish they would.

-Thankful for God not giving up on me even when I had given up on myself many times over. He has never abandoned me and loves me and every day He shows me more how much thats true.

-I am thankful to be alive!!

Love you all and hope you have a good Thanksgiving Thursday (whether you celebrate it or not) and realize we have much to be thankful for.

19 How abundant are the good things
that you have stored up for those who fear you,
that you bestow in the sight of all,
on those who take refuge in you.

20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from all human intrigues;
you keep them safe in your dwelling
from accusing tongues.

21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed me the wonders of his love
when I was in a city under siege.

22 In my alarm I said,
“I am cut off from your sight!”
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.

23 Love the LORD, all his faithful people!
The LORD preserves those who are true to him,
but the proud he pays back in full.

24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.

-Psalm 31:19-24 (NIV)

-AJ

7 comments:

  1. AJ,

    What an amazing year this has been for you! It has been neat to watch you grow and take those first steps to resolving the conflicts that you have battled in solitude for so long. A shared burden is always lighter when carried with friends.

    I am grateful that you chose to share with us your very personal and sometimes painful journey. The words that you place here continue to offer hope to those who have been exactly where you are and also hope to follow along to where you are going.

    May this Thanksgiving bring you a peace and happiness surrounded by friends and family and knowing that you are truly loved by God and those around you that are your family and friends.

    Daemon

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Daemon! I hope you have a great Thanksgiving as well!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey, AJ,

    What Daemon said is so true. Your journey does provide hope for others (me being one of them).

    You haven't posted much lately. [hint] A more detailed update would be nice. [/hint] :)

    "Sure I am still as awkward and shy as ever..."

    About that, do you think that you might have social anxiety? If so, did you ever consider getting therapy/medicine for it? I'm asking because I'm beginning to realize that social anxiety is the major struggle that I need to deal with right now, and so I'm considering therapy. From what I've read about social anxiety, some form of treatment is usually necessary to get over it.

    Anyway, have a great holiday!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks gaypk! I am glad that my journey and blog has given you some hope! I definitely also have found tons of hope from reading the blogs of others on a similar journey as well. I promise to do a more in depth update post soon!! :)

    hmm I may have some form of social anxiety. I am going to have to look up the symptoms. But its not like I am afraid to be with people once I am actually there its the getting there part. Like I went bowling last week with some people from church and I had fun and was not nervous really once I was there. But before I got there I was really nervous thinking about everything. Does that make sense? Is that a symptom of social anxiety being nervous before but not during a social situation? Of course I still did not say to much but I did have fun. Ya this is my main battle right now too. To try and break out of my shell. I am going to look into the symptoms of social anxiety for sure thanks for mentioning it.

    Anyways I hope you have a great Thanksgiving bro!

    ReplyDelete
  5. thanks for the reminder that we have something to be thankful for - your blog is an encouragement to me, glad I found it. Just wish I was as far up the road with these struggles as you are

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm so happy for you! God bless!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks Tim!!

    Ya we all have something to be thankful for Mark! I have a long way to go still. Just taking it one day at a time and trying not to look far in the future so I dont get overwhelmed!

    ReplyDelete