Its been awhile! I am still alive! :) My summer went really well! Things continue to improve in the social department although slowly at times but still I am thankful. I am definitely getting much closer to a few people which is great. I still have alot I want to improve but things are getting better slowly and I am very thankful for that!
I had a rather silly little thing happen in the last week that suddenly made me think on all I missed by having SSA growing up. I was at a BBQ recently and one of the people there was talking about his teenage son and all the girls he was starting to be interested in and suddenly adding as friends on his Facebook. Everyone there was like "oh looks like he is a "normal" teenage boy and he is starting to notice girls". They made several jokes and laughed about his new found interest in girls. Several people joked saying "oh we all know what that was like growing up" I just laughed along pretending that was my experience growing up as well. I was not really upset by this or anything it just made me think how unlike my own life was compared to everyone else at the barbecue. I just felt sort of like an outsider pretending I too had those feelings growing up and understood perfectly what they were all laughing and smiling about as they reminisced about their own teenage years and when they first started noticing the opposite sex. Several people shared about their dating adventures with the opposite sex growing up and I really did not have much to add and just sort of smiled and nodded and pretended I understood what a "normal" teenage experience was.
Was just interesting thats all. Sometimes its hard to relate when you feel so different and your teenage years where so unlike what most people would call "normal". But I still had alot of fun and I was glad I was invited to the cookout! It was just a momentary thing where I suddenly felt different but it soon passed and I had a good time again. I said a quick prayer just telling God about my hurts growing up and how I felt different and then let it pass. Unlike the past where I would have dwelt on my differences the whole time I let it pass and was able to have fun again! :)